Did you know that Decision Making is a Skill? It falls under Soft Skills but it is anything but soft, it’s critical!
When kids are given the space to make decisions, and do so, it’s important that we use that moment to credit them with that. Not the topic or actual choice that they made, but the action of choosing, making a decision, is one we want to encourage.
For my son, I want to encourage him to try new things. New food, new clothes, hair styles, friend, sports, and so on. You can see that moment in your kids eyes when they over think something and it becomes a really big, painful deal. An easy example for us is trying new food. Our son is not a fan of new food and, when we tell him he has to try it before declaring he doesn’t want it, you can see the panic start to rise the longer he thinks about whether he will actually put it in his mouth or not.
The other week he asked if he could try something we were eating. That is an action we want him to do more.
Another example is what he is going to do to keep himself occupied while we work. Often it is a struggle to get him to do anything other than watch his iPad, which is very limited in our home, so when he made a quick decision to take his scooter to the skate park, we were elated!
Teaching moments are all around us, but it is so important for us, as parents, to be aware of WHAT it is we are wanting to praise. Praising results, even if the results are exactly as we wanted them to choose, are not the actions we want to praise. That is what can develop into people pleasing, low confidence adults.
Instead we want to praise the process of how they got to those decisions, the action of deciding what they wanted or thought was best, whatever that may be.